All of these may not be funny to everyone... but some of them are funny to everyone.
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth."
The man said, "No problem."Read more: Perfect Fit
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, 'It's Lent.'
In tears, she sobbed, 'Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?'
Man and his friend meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. The friend has a little dog with him and, on the next green when the friend holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs.
The Man is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt??"
"Somersaults!!!!!! How many of them does it do?"
"Mmm, depends on how hard I kick him in the butt!"
If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.
If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.Read more: Common Sense