Humor

All of these may not be funny to everyone... but some of them are funny to everyone.

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This is a deceptively simple philosophy that a friend has been working on and refining for most of his life.

I am delighted to say that I believe he has refined it down to its essence - sufficiently to share it with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity. This is Nobel Prize material…  

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The following are all quotes from 11-year-olds science exam

 

"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

Read more: 11-year-olds...

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A husband and wife are getting all snuggly in bed.  The passion is heating up.  But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."  The husband says "WHAT??"  The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.  The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

Read more: I Just Want to...

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I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , Died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur.'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang-out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

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Gotta love this guy!! 

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.