Humor

All of these may not be funny to everyone... but some of them are funny to everyone.

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African laxative about to start working

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A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. (Joke best delivered with a good thick accent)

"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, " he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.

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Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge.

The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long."

Read more: Just Among Us Girls

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A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be.

The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.

Read more: No Charge For The...

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A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence.  He pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA Pleeeze!" 

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence".

Of course, the Mexican man agrees to this. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow.  Now use them in one sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok...... The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"